march recap

In this edition of my monthly recap, I'm bringing back a much-missed segment - where I link pictures on the net to help illustrate my feelings at the time these events occurred. YEAH MAN!

So I kicked off March by completing our wedding registries. This was much more painful than I could imagine. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy walking around all day long while scanning things on a little barcode reader as much as the next guy. I just enjoy a good sit every now and again. So, for the rest of the month I sat on the couch. (kidding)

Alissa threw a kick ass party. Ladies were makin' out with other ladies. Beer was flowing like songs from an overworked minstrel. Rollo found Jesus. (Literally, he found some little hispanic kid at a 7-11 named Jesus) And I got Rollo's car stuck in a snowbank. I do this once a year.

Then came fantasy drafts, the start of my fiscal year. The baseball drafts are always something to behold - mostly because they aren't ever well-organized. This year was a pleasant surprise because we knocked out two drafts in a single day (organized for once!). Eight of the ten managers met for our final draft of the day and talked so much trash that McBride forgot to draft a third baseman until the second-to-last round. How he still managed to get Hank Blalock on his roster is still a mystery to me. Reese showed the most enthusiasm by arming herself with ten-thousand draft cheat-sheets and gumption that I've never seen before. Beautiful.

The next weekend McBride threw a party in which Reese and I were crowned the king & queen of beer pong, but not so much flipcup. Can't win em all.

I then fell terminally ill... Nah I'm just playin', but I did get sick for the better part of two or three weeks. I missed a ton of time from work, but I'm better now.

The end of the month saw my much-hyped NCAA brackets fail miserably. I'm not so much worried about that since I've got other things to occupy my time.

Upcoming projects!
The Famous Internet Actor, Johns Grocket, has created a blog dedicated his acting skills and he's been using it to further his search for work.

Fantastic News!
Rollo's search for my camera's power supply didn't turn up anything. The box marked "Joyce" (which was actually in his barn, not in storage) turned up nothing, aside from the "Rollo's lost brother" (we gave him a good home). He has since ordered a replacement power supply, which should arrive any day now.

Tomorrow, my gift to you will be a new headliner image.

my kingdom for a power supply

Sweet merciful heavens, I have a kickass video camera and I can't use it because the power supply has gone missing. A battery isn't gonna charge itself on my good looks alone (although somebody should really invent this).

An investigation has led Rollo and I to believe that it has gone missing somewhere in Thompson #1, most likely at Rollo's house. While Rollo's executed a sustained, three-day search for the cord - all efforts have turned up ZILCH.

Our newest and hottest lead has placed the power cord in a nearby storage facility in a box marked "Joyce". Though our informant is inherently unreliable (...Joyce...), I'm fielding more reports that are consistent with this one. Our next course of action is to intercept Rollo's mom and serve her a search warrant. We will then proceed to the storage area and rifle through her junk. When we recover the misplaced cord, we'll begin emergency charge procedures for the camera battery.

Shortly thereafter, I'm sure we'll make a short film.

Rollo, since I know you're gonna be the first one to read this - READY THE VIBE. Tomorrow night, we move on this.

crippled bracket

This year Rollo put together one of the largest bracket pools I've ever seen. We've got over thirty-five (that's 35+!!!) people in this thing. So yesterday, I've got my whole day planned out: I'd work my ass off in the morning, take half my lunch break to goof off and then at 12:20pm - settle in for a long day of rooting for the likes of Temple, USC and BYU.

You probably can already tell what my issue be (be???). USC and BYU made a game of it, losing in the closing moments. That's just some tough luck. But Temple was my 5/12 upset. Temple, Temple, Temple... I should have really known better. They were never really in it from the start.

The night before the tournament started, I talked so much crap on Rollo's bracket, while hyping my own. I even owe him $5 now because of BYU! Our brackets are almost polar opposites, so yeah, he's doing MIGHTY fine right about now. Good for him, though. He definitely knows college basketball.

So my bracket's toast. I've incorrectly picked four winners, having USC in the sweet sixteen. Thanks Southern Cal!

continue-ment

Getting back to the St. Patrick's day thing, McBride threw a kickass party Saturday evening. Reese and I showed up at about 8:30 to an already very rowdy scene. Signore Popcorn was decked out in his holiday best and things were going well until I realized that the beer I had brought was sitting in Rollo's car all day. Jim came to the rescue with his horde of Genessee Cream Ale. As much as I loathe this brand of beer, it was seriously the best available there. Runners up in the beer selection included Labatt Blue and Red Dog (see my predicament?) Back in the day, we used to get free kegs of Genny Light and it was so bad that we rarely kicked them. The cream ale wasn't so bad though - just don't expect to use it during flip-cup.

Reese and I revisited my sophomore/junior year of college by running the beer pong table. We lost once, but that was good enough to be champions. The championship game was electric! I nailed cup after cup until it was time to close out the game. That's where Reese finished off the game by making the last shot and freeing Jim from the confines under the table. Why was Jim under the table? Probably because he'd come to enjoy it. He spent a lot of time under there that night, as it was a fit punishment for anybody who failed to make a cup during beer pong. Flip-cup wasn't so good to us. McBride, Rollo, Devinney, Monica, and Mike V. make up the team that is known as "Big Dicks". That leaves Reese, KTK, Jim and myself to work with one random (this time it happened to be Alex, who gave a valiant effort) in an attempt to gain ground on a team that has played together for a while now. Needless to say, wins aren't something we hang our hat on.

Those were the big events. Other notable happenings included the usual streaking (and I still can't figure out why this keeps happening) and Signore Popcorn getting punched and suffering a nice sized gash in his left side. We had to create a make-shift bandage out of masking tape, but he still partied harder than most of us. We all signed his bandage to show our support. Devinney also got punched. Come to think about it, he got punched by a lot of people. Serves him right for punching Signore Popcorn for no reason.

So as bleak as St. Patty's day started, it really ended on a rip-roarious high note. I didn't even get a hang over. Score one for Genessee Cream Ale and score one for Crock!

last week(end)

(In Brett Michaels elimination-time-tone)
Okay, I've got lots to say about last week, so lets just get right into it.

Last Thursday and Friday I attended some UNIX training on the South Side. The class was a five-day class, but I had already taken the UNIX I portion of it in November, so I opted out of the first three days. Well, on my way into the city I decided to follow my Garmin instead of going the route I knew. I did this for two reasons; first - I had left early enough to account for any traffic I may encounter, and secondly - I trust the Garmin far too infrequently. So, my good Garmin shoots me down route 51 to the liberty tubes. No big deal. I catch some serious traffic, but nothing I hadn't expected. I had "It was a good day" by Ice Cube playin', and I indeed didn't have to use my A.K. Through the liberty tubes I drove, and got onto Forbes. I soon turned onto 10th, and it was there I got a real treat. A young woman was walking in a crosswalk after a car had just fully stopped at a stop sign directly in front of her. She proceeded to walk into the crosswalk and made it about five steps before the car at the stop sign chirped tire and nearly hit her dead-on. Startled, she jumped back a little then (and I love this part) she monkey-stomps his bumper - HARD! Power to the people! After stompin', she casually walks away as if she won a small victory against the car-oppressor. The dude in the car even had his window down, but said NOTHING to the woman. Good for this chick, man. I tell you, if that would've happened to me, I wouldn't have thought to stomp the bumper, thats for sure.

Saturday brought the Spirit of St. Patrick's day out in full swing. Reese, Rollo and I started the day off by waking up at 7:30am and driving to South Hills Village. We hopped on the T and rode into Pittsburgh. Market square was alive with drunk-bodys. We caught the tail-end of the parade (which was pretty cool) that included some smallish terrier dogs, some large Irish Wolfhounds and an an Irish band in a dumptruck. Now that's a unique way to round out a parade!

Market Square wasn't quite so pleasant. On one hand it was awesome to see Stephanie Altomonte there, and catch up with her. On the other hand, though, while we were catching up - some dude decided to urinate on the wall right behind us... then turn around... then brag about it... then kick some of the puddle he made towards us... With some harsh words, we chased him off, but that pretty much summed up Market Square for the afternoon. Asses-to-Ankles. It was also the first time I had ever seen Joe look terminally ill. All of this on top of $4 beers made me really re-think my decision to come here. I don't mind a big party but I don't wanna have to pay $16 to get a mild buzz. Bah.

More about the weekend in a later post!

(Back to Brett-tone)
Well, weekend, we didn't connect on as many levels as I thought we should. I'm sorry but your tour ends here.

my fiscal year

As of Saturday, March 8, I closed the books on another productive year. Of course, I follow the Gregorian calendar as best I can but when it comes to my hobbies - the fantasy baseball draft kicks off the start of my fiscal year. And WHAT a year Crock Enterprises had! This year, I won my first "Triple Crown". That is, I convincingly won championships in three major sports; baseball, football and hockey. Recap with me, won't you?

I started things off right by trouncing my to-be fiancee, Reese, in the hockey championship by riding my then-stellar pickups of Andrew Raycroft and Peter Budaj to victory. Those two goalies weren't even thought of on draft day, but I'll take a hot streak especially when its a two-fer! This indeed was a sign of things to come.

I regularly participate in two baseball leagues - my own and Drew's. While Rollo tore through my league with his rag-tag team of AL-East castoffs, I turned my attention to Drew's league. Again, I mined significant talent, this time riding a player I found in the last round of the draft. Who'da thunk I'd unearth a talent so immense that he alone could propel me into contention. I speak of the one and only Russell Martin (I'll take a 20/20 season from a catcher ANY DAY). I'm so damn proud of that pick (a pick I made in both leagues, mind you). It'll probably be the best final-round pick I'll ever make. I took out some dude's dad in the finals, thanks in no small part to Russell Martin's amazing season.

My football team seemed destined for doom from day one until I pulled off a trade that brought my team back from the brink. Five games into the season, I sent Tony Romo and Brandon Marshall to "The Pizzy Guys" (a perennial failure of a team) for Joseph Addai and Eli Manning. Sure the price seemed steep to begin with, but now my team was armed with Colts (Peyton, Reggie, Addai) and ready to put up some serious numbers. Fortune was on my side again as I joined the Colts in having a memorable regular season. Much unlike the Colts, I defeated my season-long nemesis (Necciai) in the playoffs en route to handing Drew an upset of a lifetime. My final roster? Not to go into details but (my, God!) I had Todd Collins handling my QB duties. Hey, a win's a win!

I even took second place in Rollo's annual March Madness pool. So, looking back, maybe I didn't brag enough. Actually, I'm sure I didn't. Boy, that's gonna change this year. After all, I am the reigning champ in over half of these leagues.

party town and bad britches

Alissa threw a party over the weekend that was quite a sight to behold. You can always gauge a party by guessing how many people the host knows. In my estimate, she knew about 80% of the people there. That's the "sweet spot" of partying. An 80/20 split between people you know and people you don't know is awesome when it comes to meeting people. You get a few drinking games going, see where these people are from, what they're doing, and connect with them. It's also great because there are too few new people to cause a party-shift; where a group will "steal" the party from the host (almost always resulting in drama).

This party was a good one. Reese, Rollo and I arrived around 9:30ish and immediately talked with some of our good friends, and got to meet some others. I found out that Kimmie will be leaving for Florida sometime in the near future, which I think everyone's bummed about. I met the much-heralded Jim McBride; brother of Ryan, son of "Papa McBride" (who has a simply astonishing full head of hair). I also got to meet Matt, who gave me his last name - but I immediately chose to ignore it, referring to him exclusively as "Matt Whohasnolastname".

As good as it was, the party had its weird moments. Ryan got his scurvy crew into going streaking. While this is not unlike McBride to suggest such a thing, certain questions crept into my mind. Questions like: "Why does this keep happening?" and "Wouldn't it be cool if we locked the door?" Ah, well...

On the way out, I got Rollo's car stuck in a snowbank. For the record, Alissa's house is built on a hill and the entrance to her driveway is on another hill, which means the better portion of her driveway is a valley. There were a lot of cars in the driveway so when we arrived, I parked as I drove in (nose first). In trying to leave, there was no place to turn around and little room to maneuver otherwise, so I built up speed coming down the hill from the house and only made it halfway up the other hill. Then began the laborious process of getting the car turned around. My 3-point-turn quickly turned into a 25-and-a-half-point-turn aaaaaaaaaaaand, we're stuck. Rollo gave a valiant effort by helping me rock the car back & forth, but we ultimately needed additional manpower. Luckily McBride heard Rollo's deep bellow for help and he rallied his troops to come push us out. Even more luckily, they all had clothes on. We really dodged a bullet there.

wedding registry

Over the weekend, Reese and I have finally completed our wedding gift registries at Bed, Bath and Beyond (Saturday) and Walmart (Sunday) (links to each are to the right). We practically spent an entire workday at Bed, Bath and Beyond picking out possible wedding gifts. Since we're having such a huge wedding, our adviser recommended that we go wild and pick out as much stuff as possible. I thought that would be a cool thing to do, you know - take a little ray-gun around the store scanning anything and everything we'd like to have - it would be nothing but fun!... or so I thought...

I'm gonna be completely honest here, when it comes to wedding registries - I'm damn clueless. Couple that with the fact that I'd never been to Bed, Bath and Beyond before in my life and we've got a recipe for a long ass day. Our adviser had us pick out fine china as the first step, which was fine. We chose a nice dinner set, some crystal and good silverware. Then, we immediately moved to the drinking room (?!??!?!). Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoy a cold drink as much as the next person, but in my mind I had assumed we'd deal with the really IMPORTANT things first, then progress to the fun stuff. Before we arrived, I put my mind in a zone where I was here to build a home, not to party. This obviously wasn't the case, so I had to quickly switch gears and make frantic decisions about which beer mugs go best with our yet-to-be-built basement bar. Not an easy decision. Looking back, I probably should have taken five minutes to collect myself and then pounced on the opportunity to get some sweet drinking paraphernalia. We did eventually get around to the necessary items, which was awesome because Reese and I were pretty much on the same page about everything, without us ever having serious discussions about color schemes.

The worst part of the day came when we were never given the opportunity to have a nice sit down. If we'd have taken two five minute sits throughout the adventure, then I'd probably have been much more jubilant about our "nine inch relish tray" or our "3 pack of whisks".

The Walmart registry was much kinder to my knees, but the ordeal took just as long. I was much more at home here and since we've already done one registry, it was simple enough to replicate the steps. We even got to register for some "hope-and-pray" gifts, like our 42" LCD HDTV.

So anyway, the dust has settled and the registries are complete. You can click the links to the right to get us some nice stuff. Do it.