that bird

Nothing is more annoying to me in the morning than the banter of a certain bird that insists on tweeting right outside my kitchen window.

Imagine this: You've just heard the balloon pop that ends your peaceful night of sleep and you begin yourc rawl out of bed towards your laptop alarm. You reach over, tap the trackpad twice to shut off the same song thats been waking you up to for the past year or so. You begin to stand up, shrugging off the fact that you've slept on your right arm for practically the entire night and begin the trek upstairs to get some bachelor breakfast. As you head upstairs a familiar and haunting sound grows louder. "That bird.." you grumble as you approach the top of the stairs. "HAYYYYYYYYYYY" says he. Again. And again. You look out the kitchen window as you slide some bread into the toaster. You think, "There he is, sitting on the patio fence." You know his plan. You've watched him before. Same pattern, day-in, day-out. You watch as he bops along the fence, occasionally needing a brief flight to reach his ultimate destination - the cat food. Today was no different, he chirped, bopped and ate cat food. The status-quo of the morning.

You'll excuse my surprise when I went back for my second round of toast. As I approached my breakfast corner, there was that bird perched on the ledge right outside my window. "Whoa, that's a whopper!", I thought. I guess birds around here eat well. "HAYYYYYYYYYYYY", he said again with great monotony. I shooshed him away with a quick "WHAT!", but he was back before too long - grabbing up what little cat or dog food he could before the cats could close in and make him too uncomfortable. This is how I start every morning during the spring/summer.

Just TRY to read a newspaper with a big whopper of a blue jay AND a loudmouth wren attempt their best impression of "The View" just outside my kitchen window. It ain't gonna happen.