Columbus? BLAH!

Saturday was a riveting success. I'm speaking of course about the hockey game that both myself, Reese, McBride and Rollo enjoyed. The city of Columbus? Not so much.

Saturdays in Columbus are exactly like that of a classic western town whenever "Mad McGee" rode into town on horseback to shoot up the sheriff. All shops in the area were closed except for a lone Subway (one out of the six we passed) which is precisely where we went for a quick bathroom break. When we asked the three employees "Why is everything closed today?" one replied "Man, its Columbus and its Saturday." I guess the entire city shuts down for the weekend. I figured a capital city would at least have somewhere to go to grab a bite to eat (sans Subway). We were mistaken with a capital "M". After wandering the city for several hours, we asked a friendly police office where the nearest food venue (that offered lunch) could be found. I finally got to eat at a Max & Erma's, which was nice enough but offered NOTHING that I could indulge in aside from my few bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale. I pretty much starved until the hockey game (that Subway from above closed a few hours after we left --- yes we found out the hard way). At the game I had a salad which was pretty terrible, but the fruit punch I also ordered was spot-on. Sharks lost 2-1, but the day - believe it or not - was pretty damn fun. Lots of good jokes, good laughs and good times.

Reese found out that she not only shared a birthday with Rollo, but her BOY Milan Michalek. A funny thing about Reese's sports passion is that she lives and dies with each moment in the game. Especially Michalek's moments. Whew.

God bless the good company, the three and a half hour drive there would have been unbearable without it!

A dental success

I recently completed my usual trip to the dentist, who had informed me in months passed that I needed to have a filling. I've had fillings before, sure, but none required the use of anesthetic. I don't like needles at all, so that tended to work out pretty well for me. This time around was a different story. It seems I needed some work on a cavity in the rear balcony area of my mouth. They called it a molar. I call it the cheap seats. No matter, I needed that dreaded shot to numb me up good. I guess whenever it comes to getting shots, I've not progressed past the mentality of a toddler. "A shot? NO! Wheres my sucker? WAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" Seriously, thats what goes through my head.

To my surprise, the dentist was damn good at preventing me from feeling anything at all. He rubbed a Q-Tip with some red goop on my gums first to numb them in a way that was not unlike ambasol. It had a strong cherry flavor to it, but its not something I'd consider for recreational use. After a few minutes, he jabbed me with the needle of numb-stuff and I didn't feel a thing. Turns out I was worried about nothing at all.

Hundred Acres Manor

So, Reese and I are tired of going to the same damn haunted houses year-in, year-out. Rich's Fright Farm is predictably bad each year, Fright Nights at Kennywood is pretty good, though you can't ever get into everything you'd like to see, and Station Scare is pricey. A place near Consol called Hundred Acres Manor pulls in a decent sized crowd each year, so we figured we'd might as well check it out. Boy, that isn't an understatement. After about a two hour wait in line, we got into the place which featured a grand assortment of rooms, twisted corridors, runways, ramps and an inflated hallway that felt like I was mashed in between a very clean, well-kept set of asscheeks. Without a doubt, this place was one of the better haunted houses I've ever experienced. What impressed me the most is that they took one approach to scaring you: shock value. Rather than trying to serve you a twelve-course meal of terror, they just focused on catching you off guard (which they did WELL). The highlight of the night was going into the room where a fake wolfman was designed to flip a small bed up against a wall and jump out at you. This portion of the house must have malfunctioned because Repairman Hal and his team of handyman understudies were all working on it in the middle of a tour. Fantastic effort all around.

Oh yeah! Some dead dude caught wind of Reese's "name" and heckled her for several rooms. He got most of it right, calling her "Mareesahhhh!" before Reese stopped, corrected him and immediately went back to being scared.

This weekend I get to go to a San Jose Sharks game in Columbus, Ohio. The Sharks are my 2nd favorite team. Accompanying myself will be Girlfriend Reese, Fun-Fact Ryan McBride and IDK my BFF Rollo. I cannot wait to slum around Columbus for the day before seeing the likes of Milan Michalek, Patrick Marleau ( who looks a great deal like me) and Joe Thornton pummel some junior varsity Blue Jackets. Yes... Excellent birthday present.

Beverly Hills?

I found this on Weezer's official site, and its one of the funniest =w= I've seen in a long time.

Animal attack

Yesterday, when I woke up at about 4pm, my day started rough! Here's my rough go of it:

Reese was stressin' about finishing her portfolio so she can student teach. We had to see a house at 7pm. I needed to go running. I also needed to eat, which I have little time for as it is. The job I applied for seems to be stuck in limbo. All of this accompanying my usual gripes about the price of gas, the mileage I put on my car driving to Pittsburgh every day, and tending to the needs of five kittens.

Then, after I realize I can't afford the house we just looked at, I come to the conclusion that my "new job" is moving further and further from my grasp. I haven't heard ANYTHING from either Human Resources or my would-be new boss in WEEKS. I was under the impression that they were filling the position starting Monday, October 23. Who knows, anymore.

So I've pretty much drug myself down about as far as I can go before I head out to work at 11:15pm. Midnights... bummer... Anyway, I must have walked back and forth to my car about a half dozen times to get things I had forgotten on my way out the door. After I finally get in the car and head out, I put on some old ass relaxing tunes and make for work.

Its dark out. I rarely speed in my car. Its brand new, and its not like it was built for speed anyway. I'm literally less than a mile away from work when a deer jumped off a hillside and lands on the very front of my car. Ugh. It didn't do much damage, just popped the grill out and left a thumb-length crack in my plastic bumper cover. Nothing great, but I'm still pretty pissed. I baby that car, and still I end up with a beat car.

Lookin' forward to tomorrow when I can just relax and figure out how to fasten my grill to my car without sending it to the shop for another few weeks. Rough day!

Haunted Housing & Sweet Tea

I feel my house hunting experience is finally winding down. You won't believe how much money I've spent on gas over the past few weeks just trying to get to these places. Its a damn shame, and much to my chagrin, gas just went up another ten cents! PHOOEY! Is it just me, or does even the price of gas seem possessed by some foul being? Must be this time of year...

I've learned that the new McDonald's Sweet Tea is the real-life equivalent of Tomacco. There must be several pounds of sugar stirred into each brewing jug. Reese has been on a Sweet Tea kick lately and I tried some for the first time just the other day and MAN, what a piece of work that stuff is! DIABETICS BEWARE! The real trouble with this stuff is that it is quite addictive. It was quite a displeasure to drink, but I couldn't just stop with a sip. I had to keep drinking that disgusting excuse for tea until I had realized I'd become a junkie in a mere matter of minutes. This crap is no joke. I'd strongly recommend drinking a great quantity of water soon after drinking one of these disasters, lest you succumb to kidney failure.

Oh, one last "bonus bit 'o bullshit": Hardee's (creators of the Monster ThickBurger) is going to release a 920 calorie breakfast burrito complete with 60 grams of fat. I read this article yesterday that called this corporate irresponsibility "food porn". HAHA! This leaves me with one question: where do I go to download this burrito?

The hunt continues

Yesterday, Reese and I checked out a couple more dwellings.

The first place was a well-priced apartment, in a prime location. In a word, the place was "quaint". It wasn't the bare-bones deal you'd find in lesser neighborhoods; not by a stretch. In the same regard, the place wasn't in the echelon of Parkside Estates either. It was a fine, mid-level, quality apartment. Actually, it reminded me of my very first apartment. Not too suave, not too rustic. Some things are nice about it. The washroom is huge, and all appliances are new. Other things aren't so nice. The bedrooms and living room were quite small.

While driving from those set of apartments, we came across an ad in a newspaper for a three bedroom house for rent in the Cecil/Bridgeville/Southpointe area. First off, I had no idea that such an area even existed. After all, I worked for a year in Cecil township installing residential waste systems. I know that town like the back of my hand. I was surprised. okay? The house is pretty big, well laid out and roomy. Its got a garage, an ideally sized yard, finished basement and a down-to-earth landlord. Its certainly the priciest of the structures we've looked at thus far. That didn't prevent us from filling out a rental application on the spot, though!

So now I'm toying with the idea of either living at Parkside Estates or this Cecil home. I know I want a house, but I don't want a house I can't afford. I'd rather not do the whole apartment thing again, if I can avoid it. However, the luxury that Parkside offers goes pretty much unmatched by these other places. We've got a few more to look at, hopefully by tonight. With any luck, we'll arrive at a well-thought-out, mutual decision shortly thereafter.

The hunt

God I love October. Nothing more to that other than the usual halloweeny, seasonal stuff. Oh, and my birthday. I damn enjoy this time of year.

Househunting!

So Reese and I looked at a townhouse and a set of apartments yesterday. The townhouses were located in Bridgeville and MAN did they suck! They were small, overpriced and brimming with hidden fees. They even went as far as to go out of their way to say "And you can even put a grill out on your patio, so long as you can provide proof of rental insurance." Who the hell says something like that!?!? Seriously, neither me, Reese or my mom inquired about putting a grill on this deck-ish patio. The property manager just kind of "offered" that bit of information. WEIRD! Overall, the community was nice enough, I guess. They were renovating the exteriors of the townhomes, which was okay, but that didn't warrant the damn near $1100 a month they estimated I'd be dropping on it. Remember this name, and quickly forget it: Springhouse Communities.

On a whim, we decided to check out the luxury apartment campus called Parkside Estates in Canonsburg. We'd originally planned on scheduling a showing with them for later in the week, but we were in the area. We caught the property manager at 4:50pm, but he was more than happy to show us an apartment. These were MUCH nicer than the townhouses we saw earlier. The floor layouts are only a single level, but they are very, very spacious. The prices are very reasonable, and the community has everything that I'd need --- especially a running trail. These apartments are definitely on our short list.

The search will continue through this week. We're going to look at another townhouse as well as a few houses in the Canonsburg / Bridgeville / Carnegie area. Expect results soon.

Haircut

Oh yea, I forgot to mention I got a haircut.

You may look up above at my headliner banner and think "That doesn't really look anything like Josh, what with his head so lavishly bedecked with waves of pure brownish-black bliss. Why would he use such an old pic?" Well, friends, the truth is that I got a much needed haircut this past Saturday. The mop is gone. I look very much like my old self.

I had originally asked the knife-wielding, hair wench to refer to the Crock & Murph logo to get a rough idea as to what I want. I wanted to still be mop-esque, but just a bit more refined. A short trim on the top with a generous trim to the side. I'm not saying she did a terrible job, but I look nothing like I do in that picture. I'll go home and pose with a pouty-face in the mirror of my bathroom and put it up here later, or whenever. My contract actually binds me to put in on MySpace first, then my blog, then Facebook and proceeds in that order until my face is adorning local boroughs' volunteer firefighter websites from geocities to angelfire and back again.

Yes, I just took it back to 1999.

My new (old) haircut makes me feel less alive, but much more streamlined. And I guess if I were to grab a Halloween costume, it would be easier to manage without all the hair getting in the way of facepaint or a mask.

Speaking of The Mask, that movie was damn funny. I encourage all of you weekend-lame-asses to go rent it for Saturday evening.

Some kinda nonsense

I stole this little surveyish type thing from Rollo's blog, the author of which subsequently stole it from blogs unknown. Here's my take on it.

Accent – I can do an AWESOME Brittish nanny voice. Otherwise, I've refined the "Pittsburgh-ese" out of my system years ago. Yinz. What the hell...

I Don’t Drink – Anything with a Mr. Yuk sticker on it. (Download it, HILARIOUS!)

Chore I Hate – Kitty litter boxes. Do not make the same mistake I did by volunteering for litter duty.

Pets – I have the 12 apostles of pets. They follow me around like I'm Jesus Christ, himself. Just for fun, I'll detail them in apostle form in future blog posts, but for now here we go:

• Dogwood (medium dog)
  
• Rat Man (small dog)
  
• Tater (medium slut/cat)
• Smitz (small cat)
• Simone (small cat)
• Mitch (small cat)
• 5 yet-to-be-named (and very much in need of a good home) kittens
• LaResa (girlfriend who takes jokes VERY WELL)

Essential Electronic – my mobile contact solution (cell)

Perfume/Cologne – Curve

Gold or silver – Silver, its much classier and goes with just about anything.

Insomnia – had a bout with it towards the end of high school, and again my junior year of college - each time it was completely resolved by repeatedly playing my VHS of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" starring Donnie Osmond

Job Title – Consol Energy Associate Help Desk Administrator - its just as important as it sounds

Most Admired Trait – Since about 2004 , my perseverance has been the most widely discussed trait. I lost a lot of weight. I have to assume its admired, but nobody has ever been like "Crock, you know the most admirable trait you posses is your perseverance." No, we tend to be less cultured around here.

Kids – I consider myself a kid at heart. I get along well with the kids in my own family, as well as LaResa's.

Religion – Catholic, though I don't follow it very well anymore.

Siblings – Brother Jaker and Sister Courtney. We're all monks, so these are their formal titles.

Time I wake up – 6:30am when I work daylight, 5:30pm when I'm stuck on the graveyard.

Unusual talent/skill – I can eat more chinese food than any beast that has ever lived.

Worst habit – I kicked the whole "biting nails" thing, so I guess I'll need to cut back on my totally kickass swearing habit. Come to think of it, I do drop the F-Bomb a lot. I'll start on this as soon as I fuckin' get around to it.

My favorite meal – chinese food, totally bad for you, totally good to me. i love to hate this stuff.

Finally, a template!

Welcome to the new blog.

I tossed around ideas about what I'm going to call my blog, how I wanted it laid out, and the possible catchy descriptors to insert into the lower right corner of that image up top. I had only a few ideas for a title, the best of which were already used by other bloggers. I decided on something that directly related to me.

How I came about the name "Crocktoberfest" was fun. I took three days and tried to collect my thoughts about how I felt about myself. In short, I gave myself a self-audit. I came up with three distinct things:

• I like being funny.
• I like my birthday.
• I like to party.

Immediately, my birthday drew correlation to autumn --- hence the layout. I thought about the word "partying" for a very brief moment before I decided that the word "fest" was adequate for a party in the autumn (obviously borrowing from Oktoberfest). The rest, is history. Crocktoberfest was born.

On a related note, back in high school around this time of year I'd have a weird ass party where I'd require EVERYONE (guys inclusive) to wear a kilt or skirt of some kind. Awkward successes, these parties were. Glad I stopped having them. No need to be galabanting around in a skirt. Ever.

Bid a fond farewell to my series of Sex Panther blogs. Enjoy the warmth and welcome of Crocktoberfest.